Holy Crapola!

“Ooomph. Ahhh. Ooomph. Ahhh. Breath in. Breath out. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Exhale. Exhale. What the fuck? You forgot to inhale. INHALE! INHALE! There you go. You got it. You got it. Don’t worry. Hey, you CAN’T puke. Or pass out. You’ve only gone about 3 blocks. C’mon now. Here we go. We’re outside. In the air. Being all athletic and healthy and shit. And listening to loud music. When do we ever get to listen to loud music anymore? What’s that? What’s dragging and bumping up and down. Up and down. Oh crap. It’s your ass. C’mon now. You got it. Ouch. Ouuuuch. What happened? Um…knee hurts. No, it’s the ankle. The right ankle. No, maybe it’s your hamstring…feels like a hammy pull. Definitely the hammy. Did you even stretch out? Dummy. Slow, slow, slow. OK, we can do this. Did an old man jogger just pass us? Eh, who cares. Ouch. I think you just pulled your groin. Blisters. Blister alert. Hello? C’mon Ann. Are you CRAZY? What were you thinking? We haven’t been out in over a year. JESUS. Ouch. Can’t…breathe. Lungs cold. Head hot. Sweating. In your eyes. Can eyeballs sweat? I think you smell. Ahh…you stopped. Nice. Breath in. Breath out. Lets just take it easy, eh? Hey, wait a sec. WTF. What are you doing? Stop crazy person. Stop. Ouch. Ouch.”

--What my body was saying yesterday afternoon at around 11:30 when I decided to go for a run (actually more like a jog / walk) around Hoboken. Mind you this was the first time I think I’ve exercised in like over a year. Seriously. My poor body went into shock.